Spring has sprung!

I can not tell you how happy I am!
There is this ball of fire in the sky, and it has decided to come out and play!
Even though I have been feeling very under the weather, the last few days we have been able to venture outside, clean the garden, take some time sitting, we taught Aaron to ride a bike, experienced Logan on a bike since his last arm break and watched Caleb reunite with his homeschooled friend across the street!

All in all, much joy has been had outside. There was actually arguments from the boys about coming in to sleep, but they slept so well!

I feel like this year is going to be an amazing year. The boys are taking swim lessons, remembering how to ride scooters and bikes, and they are enjoying each other more.

I have found that very often, if I interject, they quarrel. However, if I gently redirect, they find a way to work as a team. Brotherhood is truly amazing, and I feel so blessed to be able to witness it!


I have posted a few photos of them on their bikes, I did not post swim pictures, due to other children in them. Enjoy your day, and your spring!

Blue to you!

Today is autism awareness day.
I know that if you are reading this, you probably know that.
If you did not know that, that is why so many people are wearing the color blue today.
What you may to know is that our family has been through the autism roller coaster, and we are in line for another ride.

When our oldest Caleb was born, he was a joy. He liked puzzles, and shapes and colors, and he talked like any other child.

By between eighteen months and two years, Caleb stopped talking. He would point, and use animal noises, but most of his talking was not understandable. He did not care to communicate.

I talked to his pediatrician, and her advice was to give him time, maybe it was normal. Well, I fought that pediatrician for two years, and she "gave in" and gave us a referral to the neurodevelopment center at our children's hospital.

After the slew of evaluations, it was decided that Caleb had something called sensory integration disorder. (SID) sensory integration disorder or dysfunction is when the sensory input your body receives is not processed appropriately. Imagine that your nerve sensitivity in your skin is turned up 1000 times. Everything that you touch, smell, taste, and hear is amplified, and it makes it unpleasant to say the least. Well, there is therapy to try to teach your body to respond appropriately to that input, however, insurance does not cover it for more than so many appointments a year ( far fewer than Caleb needed). So, I talked with his therapist, and I learned how to help him. Sensory integration disorder in and of itself is not a diagnosis on the autism spectrum, however, many children who have or develop autism have sensory integration issues.
This made insurance hard, because without an autism diagnosis, he did not qualify for a lot of services. I never wanted a diagnosis, I just wanted my child to be able to function in society, and the family.

With a lot of work, Caleb progressed nicely, and honestly, I realized how important therapy can be for any child. I wished he could have continued with therapy, however, he couldn't and we work with that.

Well, fast forward to today, we are going through a re-evaluation for Caleb. I will not get into the specifics right now, Because I do not feel comfortable, but I will say, I have had my day of tears over it, and we as a family are moving forward.

If you ever wonder about your child's behaviors, diagnosis, or progression/regression in their development, do not hesitate to talk to your pediatrician, and if they do not seem receptive to your concerns, take the time to document what you see, be reasonable, do not scare yourself with Internet searches. Find a doctor that is well respected, and get a second opinion.

You and only you can be your child's advocate, and you are the best advocate your child will ever have.

If your children are "typical" and there is an opportunity, please, teach your child that just because a child is "different" from them, it does not make them less of a person.
My child is teased daily, because he is nice and naive, and I am grateful he has one good friend, but it still kills me that he has to learn the harsh realities of life so soon.

Thank you to all of you whom have been my rock through everything we have been through as a family, know that you are appreciated!

When the dad is away, the boys will play...

I want to start off by saying that I am not at all upset that my husband has a job, nor am I upset that this job causes him to need to travel. I understand that sacrifices need to be made in order for a family to survive in the current economy. This is just a tired momma telling her story....

Ok, daddy is in Miami right now. He left today and he returns tomorrow. A normal Wednesday is daddy wakes up early, goes to swim, and then to work. The boys may see him after work, but he has been at a bible study the last few weeks, so, it is not improbable that there would be a day where he wasn't home. Well, daddy thought it was good to tell our boys that he was going away for a day. While I appreciate his honesty, here is the problem: he says " I will be back on Thursday morning" and the boys hear " cool, dad won't be home, so we can do whatever we want!" And I hear " hey boys, I know your mom loves it when you completely do the opposite of what she says, it makes her filled with joy, so do that for the next day or so. Ok?"

Lost in translation

That is what I will blame it on. We are lost somewhere between here and there. I am with my boys most moments when they are not at school. I am the wallpaper to them. I exist, but it doesn't mean much. So, even with me sitting at the table, dinner becomes screaming, throwing food/utensils, and all out mayhem. So, due to that, tonight was the night that the boys broke mom. It is official, and that is ok. So after I screamed for a moment, I put them to bed, read the bible verse for today (interesting, Jesus in the temple kicking out the merchants. The prayer lesson was on asking God to help us overcome our anger...ok, I hear you God) I kissed them and told them something positive about the today, and then, I took a shower. Seriously, a five minute shower, and three times a child was in the bathroom with a "problem". The glue had not finished drying on my cracks, and I came unglued again. I talked them and me down, and they went to bed.

A trip outside to the yard with the dog revealed the sky, and I broke down in prayer...I need to find my center, and I needed that bible verse tonight to remind me that my own anger can be overwhelming at times for myself, so I need to remember, to stay calm and trust in God.

The oral of this is, the next time daddy goes away, instead of telling the boys he won't be home, maybe he can just kiss them a second longer, and say see you after work. It wouldn't be a lie...

What imagination!?

I love that a few days a week, I have the pleasure of watching my nieces. I live that the two of them have a blast coloring, building Legos and just having fun. On Thursdays, I get to enjoy the fact that Aaron is home with us. Today, they had all of our living room blankets out, and they decided to hide from me.... Such fun!

I think it is important for Children to know that having an imagination is not a bad thing. Draw a picture and describe it to me. Play with Legos with no instructions! (Imagine that) and find a way to have fun with nothing electronic on. It is pretty amazing to see what little children can teach me that I should have already known. I think the phrase "stop and smell the roses" does not do life justice. I want to change it to " stop and see the way the children play!" Sometimes the hardest part is remembering that they are little kids, and they are going to be loud, and disorganized, and silly, and that it is my job to protect them, but not dictate to them how to live their lives.

I wonder if anyone feels this way at times or if I am just late to the game!
Thanks for reading!

Wow...whew

Apparently, I have up writing for lent, because I have been pretty silent lately! I think I am doing so much writing for school that I am just out of fresh ideas.

I think a lot of neat stuff has happened. Caleb is doing so well with piano that he will be playing in Church on Sunday. He is playing an excerpt from Beethoven's ninth symphony. He is so excited, and a natural at playing. Logan is learning to live piano, he loves playing, but he struggles a bit with posture and patience (like his mom) so he is growing. Aaron has been reading books, not really reading, but showing some pre-reading skills, and it is so sweet. School for me has been busy, but all my midterm grades were A's so I must be doing ok. ;) Steve has been so busy at work, but is still able to manage to be a supportive husband, and loving father and he has no idea how much that means. Otherwise, we have had a few medical issues with father, that has added some stress, but, family is family, and you do what you have to to make things ok. Prayers for him would be appreciated greatly!

Many blessings to you and yours today!

Friends like these.

So. Last weekend we were hit with a really big snow storm. This weekend, not a huge storm, but adding 3-4 inches meant a parking ban in our city, which means no church. Note the picture of how we spent our morning at home. We do not have our own parking lot. We have to park on the street, and thanks to the kindness of our neighbor across the street, many members of the church park there, but it is a grocery store, so we have to be mindful of their customers.
I miss church. A lot of my friends are there, my children gain their few hours with their friends who are godly children, and it is a place where we as parents can recharge while our children are safe with others.
I have been wrestling with how much private school costs, and with how far away they are from us.
It is on my heart, and in my prayers. I wish that I had no reservations about it, but I do, and so I will wait.
See? Even when it is about the snow, it is about not being in quite the right place right now. I want for my children to have friends every day like the ones they have on Sunday, and with two Sundays away, miss those friendships.

Juggling anyone?

I was recently asked how I juggle being a mom to three boys, a wife, and a full time student.

I have to say, it is not easy, however, it is doable!

I am blessed to have three beautiful boys. I love every moment I am privilege enough to spend with them, and I realize that those years will be few. I decided a year ago, that I needed to do something with my life. I needed to be a role model, to help others, because it was truly what I loved doing. Helping others. So, I took a course that would certify me to be a teachers assistant.

I loved it!

I enjoyed getting good grades again, and I decided rather quickly to register for the fall semester, full time. I took five classes last semester, and spent a lot of time away from my children. I earned a 3.94 gpa, and I was happy. Christmas break came and went, and now, I am taking four courses this semester. I am struggling a bit in one of my classes, but I am excited to say I qualified for honors and can do an honors project this semester.

Now, the juggling act. I spend each afternoon after school doing homework with my boys. I learn what they are interested in, and we spend time doing those things together. I make sure to have fun time with them. I plan ahead a lot, and I am not perfect at it. I have an amazingly supportive husband, and without him it wouldn't be possible for me to do all of this. I also sing in a group, and one of the classes I am taking is a long term goal, and that is sign language, so I am learning a new language as well.

It is not always fair, I know I am not giving 100% to everything all of the time, and I do feel guilty at times. I pray that my boys see the value in my school so that the time I am not with them will be times that they can plan for when we are together. I pray that I am an inspiration to them. I pray that the difference I can make in the future will be as meaningful to them as time with me now. I pray I am not making a mistake.

Now, I still have a long road ahead, and I know it will not be easy, however my long term goal is my Master's degree in Speech and Language Pathology.

So, if I can do it, anyone can!