I want to start off by saying that I am not at all upset that my husband has a job, nor am I upset that this job causes him to need to travel. I understand that sacrifices need to be made in order for a family to survive in the current economy. This is just a tired momma telling her story....
Ok, daddy is in Miami right now. He left today and he returns tomorrow. A normal Wednesday is daddy wakes up early, goes to swim, and then to work. The boys may see him after work, but he has been at a bible study the last few weeks, so, it is not improbable that there would be a day where he wasn't home. Well, daddy thought it was good to tell our boys that he was going away for a day. While I appreciate his honesty, here is the problem: he says " I will be back on Thursday morning" and the boys hear " cool, dad won't be home, so we can do whatever we want!" And I hear " hey boys, I know your mom loves it when you completely do the opposite of what she says, it makes her filled with joy, so do that for the next day or so. Ok?"
Lost in translation
That is what I will blame it on. We are lost somewhere between here and there. I am with my boys most moments when they are not at school. I am the wallpaper to them. I exist, but it doesn't mean much. So, even with me sitting at the table, dinner becomes screaming, throwing food/utensils, and all out mayhem. So, due to that, tonight was the night that the boys broke mom. It is official, and that is ok. So after I screamed for a moment, I put them to bed, read the bible verse for today (interesting, Jesus in the temple kicking out the merchants. The prayer lesson was on asking God to help us overcome our anger...ok, I hear you God) I kissed them and told them something positive about the today, and then, I took a shower. Seriously, a five minute shower, and three times a child was in the bathroom with a "problem". The glue had not finished drying on my cracks, and I came unglued again. I talked them and me down, and they went to bed.
A trip outside to the yard with the dog revealed the sky, and I broke down in prayer...I need to find my center, and I needed that bible verse tonight to remind me that my own anger can be overwhelming at times for myself, so I need to remember, to stay calm and trust in God.
The oral of this is, the next time daddy goes away, instead of telling the boys he won't be home, maybe he can just kiss them a second longer, and say see you after work. It wouldn't be a lie...
