Sunday, March 22, 2015

My greatest accomplishment...week 11... A4A 52 weeks!

Some would say their children were their greatest accomplishment, some would say their career... I am choosing to talk about things that are tough. 

My marriage...

We live in a society where throwing things away is easy. Everything is disposable. Plates, cups, food, packaging, clothing, dishes... It is all disposable. Not many people fix things. Look at watches, when the battery dies, we often throw it in the drawer and either get a new watch or complain that we need to get a new battery (and don't know how to replace it). 

Things get hard, and we give up.

Well a few years ago, Steve and I were ready to throw our marriage away. I will not disclose the details, as that is between he and I, however the lesson from it is universal. 

It got hard...
We gave up...
We walked away...
But the problem is, we weren't ready to throw it away.

Steve and I are fixers. 

We didn't feel great being all in, but we also didn't feel great about being all out. 

So we stopped, and we fixed it.
 We communicated, we yelled,  and screamed, and cried, and in the end said "what are we doing?" And we started again. 

It would have been very easy to throw in the towel and walk away. Set up visitation and payments and start our separate lives. But, that isn't really what we wanted. 

When we got to the root of the problem, it was communication. We hd forgotten that a relationship cannot remain static. It needs forward motion, communication, and cooperation. 

We forgot that.
However as I sit here and look at where we are now, I know it is not because we are perfect or something. We worked, we fought, and we found each other. 

We fell back in love, learned to understand each other, and we don't question each other's anything anymore. If we get mad, we say it. 
If we are hurt, we say it.
If we are in love, we say it.

We fixed it. In a disposable world where quiting is easy, we fixed it. 

Is it perfect?
Is it easy?
But, is it worth it? 
I think that the best thing that we have accomplished is our marriage, together, and as a team, we fixed us. Not just for us... But also for them....

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