Why can we not just be humans?

I had an amazing time today with my BFF (do I sound like a teenager?)

We went to the beach with my sons, my nieces, and my friend's children. 

Her oldest daughter has Achondroplasia. Not sure what that is? Well you can find that out here: A is For Adelaide

And I have to say, our day was almost ruined, and I didn't realize it. 

I spent a large part of today playing photographer. I was grabbing candids and group photos and watching the children (all 7 of them!?!?) move about. 

Well at one point my friends daughter Addie was playing in the sand and I didn't notice it at first. She is not my child, so my senses were not tuned in to it. 

But then I did.

I noticed it.

I realized that the man of a couple was taking a picture of his woman, but there was no way he was getting his woman in the frame. (BTW I am a trained photographer) he was aiming for Addie.

A CHILD.

A HUMAN BEING! 

Why? 

Because she looks a little different? Because she is shorter than your child? 

Because she is amazingly beautiful and even brought her own paparazzi? 

Who knows. But I made sure that my face or  butt were in every one of their pictures, essentially ruining the chance of them getting a "good shot".

 But why did I have to? 

Because some people aren't human. 

Some people think it is ok to photograph others without their consent for their own pleasure/ amusement. 

And some people are just assholes. Period. 

So, the next time you go to take a photo of that person who is doing something different/ looks different/has colorful hair/ or is just not like you, imagine how you would fee if you saw pictures of you on the internet because someone wanted to laugh at you. 

No matter your intent, someone will get hurt. So think twice, and grow up. 

And if you find someone else is doing this, stop them. For them and you, and the person you might hurt. 

~Melendy 

P.S. You won't find pictures here as I thought that made my point pretty clear. 

Say what!?!?

So anyone who follows me in Facebook or even Instagram or Twitter knows I have upped my workout/ heathy food posts. 

Well, there is a very good reason for that! 

This man: 

The father of my children.

My husband

The man I married almost 13 years ago,

The man I started dating over 17 years ago.

He is the reason.

2 weeks ago he was officially diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.

My husband

The man who runs every day

The man who goes to the gym at 4AM

Every day

Seriously

This man...

Well. It isn't just fat people who get type 2. 

It can be heredity

Life choices

Or just "luck"

He has it. 

His numbers are horrible and well, I am his wife

It is up to me to "fix it"

It is my fault...

I should have helped him.

But how

Steve has never had to diet

He has never had to watch what he eats

He has never worried about anything he has eaten...EVER!

Now, he is lost

And I have to help him find the shore

We live in an age of technology.

I list every calorie I eat on an app in my phone, I log every step, every mile, every activity, and every picture/grade. 

He has never worried about it. 

I weigh WAY too much, he is in target range

I am a couch potato, he hardly eats potatoes, and yet he needs me to save him, to keep him alive, to help him save his vision/limbs.

ME!

After years of me relying on him, he NEEDS me. 

And I crumbled under the weight of it.

How do I fight his need to eat

How do I?!?! Have any authority when I can't control what I eat and do?!?!?

How can I save him...

Well. I decided to change.

I am making him healthy meals, making myself healthy meals. 

Critiquing every thing he eats

Helping him remember to log

Getting angry when he eats too many carbs

Getting sad in Private that he will not eat like he should...that he will die...that I will be alone... But no tin front of him.

He needs me to be strong

And so, you may see 

Or this:

Or even this:

B cause if I am going to help him, I have to change me as well. And well, I love him, a lot, and so it is worth it. The fight, the struggle, the sacrifices, all for him, for me, for US, and for our kids... 

I fight

So excuse the mess while I am a work in progress, as is Steve. 

If you have any tips on how to help him or me adjust, few free to post/comment! 

We love your love!

~Melendy 

The end...

This school year was a whirlwind. And we have been so on the move, that writing has taken a back-burner. 

The end of the school year was chaotic, entertaining, emotional and a relief. 

We had a wonderful experience at BCa, and the fact we are not returning is bittersweet. Seeing empty halls was strange, but I know the Lord has a different path for us. 

So, for the end of the school year the boys were in a production, 

Caleb was in the spelling bee...

I took my students to Old Sturbridge Village

Steve had a birthday 

Aaron graduated kindergarten

We had our end of year piano recital

Even got a picture of all 6 of my parents grandchildren:

Then we had field day

Track banquet

The last full day of school and awards for Caleb 

All three did so well

And even since school, 

A good bye...

But a new beginning...

Time with family, running races, being together...

I am learning a new job, and the boys are prepping for the Junior Olympics. Steve is running a Spartan Super next week, and I have a half marathon in October I need to be ready for. 

Also a new nephew to photograph

Even in the end, there are new beginnings and I am so grateful for the time to appreciate them! 

A week late, but my career, week 15 A4A52weekchallenge

So, I am a week late writing this, but the kids were sick and I honestly forgot! 

My career is hard to write about because I don't have one. 

I am a mom

A wife

A teacher

But I do not have a career.

These things are my life. 

They make me who I am, and teach me day to day.

I do not have a corporation to answer to, a timeline (well teaching does have a timeline), I don't get emails from China at 2 in the morning like my husband does. I don't stress about losing my job because if I lose my job it isn't devastating to the family. 

I think the word career has a connotation that is negative, at least to me. As someone who isn't  on a plan, I don't like when I am asked what my career or occupation is. 

I am a mom

I am a wife

I am a teacher

But none of those things change if they are my career, because they are my life.

~~~~~~~~~

Join the fun!

And check in on Chelley at www.aisforadelaide.com

Home...Week 12 a4a 52 week challenge

I have lived in many places, and all of them would be considered home.

I also have many places in my life that feel like home.

Our physical home is a quaint one.

 We have three bedrooms, one bathroom,a fireplace, a dining room, a yard, a porch, and a garage. It is large enough to host holidays like Thanksgiving and Easter, but small enough that I don't go crazy when we need to clean up. It is feeling awfully cramped lately as our children are growing, and we have been so beyond busy that my clothes sit in baskets next to my bed instead of being properly put away.  However, it is home.

I have learned how to cook here, watched two children take their first steps here, and become a teacher through a lot of hard work here.

there is one thing though. It is always changing. I am constantly rearranging our furniture, our rooms, even whose room is whose.  We cannot change our address, but we can change our space. I am feeling like a change is needed again, so we will be doing a deep de-clutter of our spaces. The boys clothes are becoming outgrown, the school work is piling up, and the de-clutter is necessary.

But the best thing happened this year. I was able to clean off my front porch, and make a space that I have always wanted. A place to rest, and read, or type, or draw. A place to relax at the end of a long day or to be alone in my thoughts. I think it needs a few more touches to be complete, however, I am really happy with how it looks, and how I feel when I come home. To open up the door and see my refuge right there is the best feeling ever.
In doing this, I discovered, that even though our house isn't perfect, nor is it perfectly clean, it is our home. It is where we come together.

home

heart

life

all happen wherever you are!

~~~~~~~~

Join the challenge, and write away!

also check out what Chelley has at http://www.aisforadelaide.com

My greatest accomplishment...week 11... A4A 52 weeks!

Some would say their children were their greatest accomplishment, some would say their career... I am choosing to talk about things that are tough. 

My marriage...

We live in a society where throwing things away is easy. Everything is disposable. Plates, cups, food, packaging, clothing, dishes... It is all disposable. Not many people fix things. Look at watches, when the battery dies, we often throw it in the drawer and either get a new watch or complain that we need to get a new battery (and don't know how to replace it). 

Things get hard, and we give up.

Well a few years ago, Steve and I were ready to throw our marriage away. I will not disclose the details, as that is between he and I, however the lesson from it is universal. 

It got hard...

We gave up...

We walked away...

But the problem is, we weren't ready to throw it away.

Steve and I are fixers. 

We didn't feel great being all in, but we also didn't feel great about being all out. 

So we stopped, and we fixed it.

 We communicated, we yelled,  and screamed, and cried, and in the end said "what are we doing?" And we started again. 

It would have been very easy to throw in the towel and walk away. Set up visitation and payments and start our separate lives. But, that isn't really what we wanted. 

When we got to the root of the problem, it was communication. We hd forgotten that a relationship cannot remain static. It needs forward motion, communication, and cooperation. 

We forgot that.

However as I sit here and look at where we are now, I know it is not because we are perfect or something. We worked, we fought, and we found each other. 

We fell back in love, learned to understand each other, and we don't question each other's anything anymore. If we get mad, we say it. 

If we are hurt, we say it.

If we are in love, we say it.

We fixed it. In a disposable world where quiting is easy, we fixed it. 

Is it perfect?

No.

Is it easy?

No.

But, is it worth it? 

Absolutely! 

I think that the best thing that we have accomplished is our marriage, together, and as a team, we fixed us. Not just for us... But also for them....

~~~~~

Join the weekly writing, and check out what Chelley has going on at www.aisforadelaide.com

On a much lighter note... Week 10 - my favorite jewelry...

From the time I was born, jewelry was a part of my life. My mother and father both worked at jewelry stores when they met, and well, both made sure that I was aware of the value of a jewel. I have several pieces that I love, and several that mean so much to me. For me each piece of jewelry I own is a connection to the person and moment I received it. As a mom to all boys, I realize that there is no one to pass my jewelry on to that will appreciate that sentiment. So for now I love it, recognizing it is only a thing, and not an actual part of me. 

I have a few pieces I will talk about... 

There is a box of jewels my husband gave me. He knows how much I love them, and he picked out this beautiful box for these treasures. It isn't large, but it holds a lot. Probably one of the two things I would grab in a fire! 

The problem is I am so afraid of losing these jewels that I hardly wear them! My wedding bands and my mothers necklace are most often what I wear. I find it hard to wear jewelry when playing with kids and being a mom to three absolutely energetic boys. So I don't wear it often! 

These two are special. The boys birthstones, and a silhouette with my birthdate which belonged to my grandmother. This one was lost for ten years! I was cleaning out an old purse before donating it and found this in the pocket, the lining of the pocket! I am so glad I found it because I have very little from my grandmother. 

My mothers necklace is probably the most precious. Each stone represents a part of me that walks around outside of my body! 

Caleb is the sapphire, and he fits that stone quite well, he is bold, and strong and stands out in a crowd!

Logan is the diamond, and that fits him as well. He is strong, but clear, and you can see through his emotions to his heart.

Aaron is citrine, and that fits him as well. He is a light and a ray of sunshine to all around him! 

So my mothers necklace is probably the one I hold most dear. It represent a these beautiful humans I love so much! 

~~~~~~~

Join the fun! 

And check out Chelley over at http://www.aisforadelaide.com