When you talk about your past, you bring to light things you want to forget or things you want to remember.
For me, I enjoy leaving the past where it belongs, in the past, and moving forward.
If I remember my past, I remember my failed relationships, mistakes I made, lies I told, and even hearts I hurt. I am a person who wants to help others, and to think about the past, I often reflect on the times I failed.
I reflect on these because I want to do better. Make a better choice, choose a better word, be a better friend. I very often find myself failing to do better.
I am filled with a sadness about much of my past because of the what ifs.
I have missed out on a lot because of the what ifs.
I also recognize that the reason I am where I am today is because of the past.
The relationships I have with my family are because of moments we shared. The friendships I have are because of choices I made. The mom I am is because of lessons I learned along the way.
The things I have learned about myself are because of my past. My prayer is that the good will define the future. Not the bad.
I am a person who needs to learn to focus on the sun, not the rain. The laughter, not the tears. Life, not the past.
Looking forward, tethered to the past, remembering to be careful of my footing, is how I will view my past. It is the building blocks of my present, and the foundation of my future, however, I refuse to dig it up.
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